Talking With Your Parents

At some point, the time will come when your parents or loved ones will not be able to live independently and you may have to consider senior living options.

By Becky Holland

It's a hard realization and one that can become emotional and stressful for the entire family. Planning for this event is something that all families should do in order to be prepared for a sudden hospitalization or other crises. It is a difficult conversation to approach, because most seniors and adult children are in denial of their parents need for assistance. Here are some tips to help you know when to have this conversation and how to do it respectfully and tactfully.

Pay attention to your loved one's way of life, and their friends. If you notice your loved ones or their friends struggling with their health, it will be easier to bring up the topic of the future by pointing out that they are not the only one aging. Their friends or siblings might have died or have already made the transition to assisted living. Knowing that they are not facing this life decision alone will help them be more open to the idea.

Starting the conversation can prove to be awkward at best. But planning to have a conversation with your parents could make the situation easier. Tell them you want to plan a time to sit down and talk with them about the future. Try to pick a time where you know the family will be coming together, in order to involve everyone in the decision making process. Start by telling them you want to know how you should plan, in case they have to go to the hospital unexpectedly. Be open to their ideas and concerns. Stress that you want to make plans so the family can honor their wishes, and avoid any conflict later. Also make sure to collaborate with siblings and other loved ones who could help in a crisis situation. It's important to have everyone, including your parents, on the same page.

There are some important pieces of information to have, should anything happen unexpectedly. Ask you parents for the name of their doctor and contact information. Also get a list of their medications and know where all of their important papers are kept. These are all things that will allow you to help your parents easily and efficiently.

If your parents are reluctant to talk about these things, try bringing in a trusted third party, such as their lawyer, clergy or physician. These people might be able to convince them to talk about their future and help them realize that the focus is their health, safety and happiness.